Me: Yes, I'm looking for a book by Jim Shepard.
Fully Booked: Okay, ma'am, let me just check our database. Can you please hold on for one minute?
Me: Oh, sure.

Almost ten minutes later...

Fully Booked: Ma'am?
Me: Yes?
Fully Booked: Yes, ma'am. We're still checking if we have any available titles by Shepard, Jim.
Me: Oh. Okay. Why is it taking so long? What does your database say?
Fully Booked: Would you like to leave your name and contact number, ma'am? We'll call you right back after a few minutes. We just need to confirm the available titles.
Me: Oh, okay, sure.

I leave them my name and my home phone number but they don't call back. I left for work in the afternoon and as soon as I get to my office I give them a call again.

Me: Yes, hi. I called earlier this morning? I left my name and my number but no one got back to me? About the Jim Shepard titles?
Fully Booked: Yes, ma'am, let me just check our database. Can you please hold on for a minute?
Me: Uhm. Okay.

Almost twelve minutes later...

Fully Booked: Ma'am?
Me: Yes, I'm still here. Did you find anything?
Fully Booked: No, ma'am, I'm sorry. We don't have any titles by Jim Shefard.
Me: Oh no, no, that's Shepard with a p.
Fully Booked: Yes, ma'am, Shefard with fee.
Me: Uhm...oookay. What about your other branches?
Fully Booked: Okay, ma'am. I'll just check. Can you -
Me: (exasperated sigh) Hold on for a minute, yes, I know.

After another seven minutes...

Fully Booked: Ma'am?
Me: Still here.
Fully Booked: I'm sorry, ma'am, we have no available titles.

A few days later, I get a text from Phil who happened to be at Fully Booked at High Street. He found a copy of Jim Shepard's Like You'd Understand, Anyway and Love and Hydrogen. Sigh. I wish our local bookstores would keep better records.