Phil asks a very interesting question: What, exactly, is P.T. Anderson's Magnolia about? If you had to summarize it for someone who had never seen it before, what would you say? "A rain of frogs? Life in the San Fernando Valley? People who are unraveling? People who want to become better?"

It's funny because I had never really thought about it before - and Magnolia is one of my favorite films of all time. I saw it six times in the movie theatres when it came out in 1999; even dragged a new bunch of people every time I saw it. And I still rewatch it every year, by the way. At least twice (and I am still floored every single time). If my math is right, I will have seen it a good twenty four times at least, but I'm at a loss for summary words.

When I dragged all my friends (some of their friends and this one guy I was kinda dating at the time) to see the movie, I was frantic. I don't think I told them anything objectively convincing. I just pulled them by the hand and exclaimed "Basta!" Most of them liked it, with maybe an exception of two or three people. I remember somebody saying, "I can kind of sense that something really great happened there, I'm just not sure I was able to follow it all."

A film teacher I once met said that most of the greatest films of all time are the ones that have the simplest stories; the ones that can be summarized in one sentence even. I guess you can make an argument for that. Bicycle Thief is just about a guy whose bicycle gets stolen. Citizen Kane is a veiled portayal of William Randolph Hearst. However, you can also, just as easily, make an argument for a less simplified case. It may be that most of the greatest films of all time, despite having the simplest stories, are the ones that touch on many, many aspects of human life.

Magnolia is about a lot of characters and character relationships. One of the reasons I keep watching the film again and again is that I can focus each time on a different character or character relationship, maybe even see something I hadn't seen there before.



But I think, for me, it's William H. Macy as former "Quiz Kid" Donnie Smith that gets me every time. Near the end of the film we see him, bleeding, missing his front teeth. He's completely broken, but he's also for the first time thinking straight. "I do have so much love to give," he says, tearfully, "I just don't know where to put it." How is that for a summary? It's a film about people who have so much love inside them and don't know what to do with it.

And it rains frogs.

aka Thoughts while watching Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Denial: Okay, so it's off to a weird start. Everything looks a little bit too bright and cute, but I mean we're just beginning. It's only been, what? Twenty, thirty minutes? Mike Mignola helped write the story, didn't he? And I love Mike Mignola! We'll get to the good stuff soon, I'm sure.

Anger: What? What is this? What am I watching? What the hell am I watching? What is happening here? Why is it all jokey? Why is Hellboy a prick? He's always been tough and impulsive but underneath all that bluster we know he's not careless with other people's lives! Why is Liz Sherman on fire every time she's mad? We get it already! She can start fires! Why is Johann Krauss nothing like his character? Why is Abe annoying? We already know these characters, we should care about them! How the hell did this happen? How the hell did this movie make me not care about anyone of these characters I love? What's going on? Why is this movie written for seven year old children? What the hell am I watching?

Bargaining: Well, the set looks great, doesn't it? And I mean, I love del Toro! He's one of my favorite directors! Cronos was great, The Devil's Backbone was great, Pan's Labyrinth was great - hell, even Blade II was ridiculous fun! He did such a great job of making the first HB movie, I couldn't think of anyone else who could do a better job, right? And Hellboy is, like, one of my most favorite comics to come out in the last ten years! And Ron Perlman is still Hellboy, right? Luke Goss is awesome as Prince Nuada. Sort of. And, uh, the creatures are really well designed! And there are so many creatures! Creatures are great! Right?

Depression: There are waaaaay too many creatures and I don't know what they are here for. There are waaaaay too many things happening and I don't care. This is Hellboy 2! I've been waiting 254378191021 years for Hellboy 2! And this is what we get. Why? Why? Why does it feel like a Hollywood trap? Why? Why is there a drunken sing-along to Barry Manilow? Why are people laughing to the drunken sing-along to Barry Manilow? Why? Why? Why?

Acceptance: You know, I think I'll just stick to reading the comics from now on.

I have decided that Withnail and I is one of the greatest films of all time - and I will gladly challenge anyone who disagrees with me, perhaps to a duel or maybe, and more preferably, to a pie-eating contest. I can't tell you exactly how many times I've seen it, but I can tell you that I can watch it another couple of million times more. The only trouble is after every viewing, I spend the next couple of days quoting the movie ("I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head", "I want something's flesh", "Look at my tongue. It's wearing a yellow sock").

It's all at once a hilarious, heartbreaking and completely sobering experience. I absolutely adore Paul McGann (he ranks high in my list of People I Want to Marry Someday) and he is exquisite here (not to mention just too, too beautiful), but it's Richard E. Grant who, with his sharp, bitter and offbeat performance, touches greatness.

And now for something completely different: According to the Guardian, a growing number of cinemas are banning popcorn at their theatres. In fact, by next month, England's largest art-house chain of cinemas is introducing popcorn-free screenings.

Popcorn has become an integral part of cinema-going. Audiences are willing to double the price of their ticket by forking out up to £4.50 for the snack. But the dominance of popcorn may be at an end. A growing number of cinemas are banning it, and next month the largest art-house chain will introduce popcorn-free screenings.

'Popcorn is a contentious issue. Lots of people absolutely hate it and have asked us to ban it, so we're going to do exactly that,' said Gabriel Swartland, head of media at the Picturehouse Cinema, a chain that comprises 19 Picturehouse-branded screens across the country, including such non-branded venues as the Little Theatre Cinema, Bath. Throughout September, the Picturehouse's Cinema City screen in Norwich will hold popcorn-free screenings at 7pm every Tuesday. 'If it's a success, and I've no reason to suspect it won't be, we'll roll it out across all our cinemas and make it a permanent fixture,' said Swartland.

...Nicolas Kent, artistic director of the award-winning Tricycle cinema and theatre, puts the case in stronger terms. 'Popcorn is horrible stuff and I won't have it anywhere near my cinema,' he said. 'It's a form of junk food and that encourages junk entertainment. Its smell is all-pervasive, it makes huge amounts of mess, and it distracts and annoys people intensely.'

You can read the rest of the article here.

I hadn't thought about it before actually, but I guess that does explain how we categorize films and why some of them are considered "popcorn movies". But what's the alternative? If you were setting up a viewing of, say, Citizen Kane, what snack would you prepare for it? Scotch? Snow cones? Scotch flavored snow cones? Would you have sushi and sake for Rashomon? What snack would you have if you were watching The 400 Blows?

"Don't be ridiculous." says ZombieGwenStacy, scolding me lightly. "You know perfectly well that Francois Truffaut was not fond of eating. He probably considered it very unaesthetic." Hm. Right then. Maybe some coffee and an argument?

And then there are things that you will never forget, things that have been and will always be burned in your mind no matter what, like this little number from Chow Yun Fat in John Woo's A Better Tomorrow (but Leslie Cheung was awesome, too).



There are days, I swear, that I wake up with this image in my head.

So a while ago, I was talking to some girls about the upcoming weekend and their plans. ZombieGwenStacy enthusiastically asks me to wish her luck - Saturday was going to be a big night. "I'm finally inviting him over." Him being Trevor. Trevor being this nice fellow she'd been going out with for a good couple of weeks now."I think it's time for The Magic Flute."

Allow me to explain. Stacy loves Ingmar Bergman. The Magic Flute is her favorite Ingmar Bergman film. She has seen it a bajillion squillion times and she will probably never ever get tired of it. Yes, she is a film student. No, she's not really a zombie. Anyway, Stacy claims that this is the big test. A compatibility test of sorts. Kind of like a "taste" test, if you will. Haha. Apparently, she's having trouble finding guys who are willing to sit through The Magic Flute, much less love it as much as she does. She's a little nervous about Saturday. "He says he's a big fan too," she adds, "but I have to see for myself."

Namorita tells her to be a little more understanding. "It is The Magic Flute, you know. I think it's a great film too, but I can understand why it's not for everyone. It's a two-hour film staging of a Mozart opera. In Swedish. Heavy stuff. Why couldn't you go with something shorter? What about Through a Glass Darkly?" No, Namorita isn't her real name. But she does insist that she is a clone of Namora. We have taken her word for it.

"Through a Glass Darkly is shorter, I agree." I add, trying my best to be helpful. "But it doesn't necessarily mean it's lighter. Madness, disintegration, loss of faith, sexual frustration. Spiders. Not exactly date-friendly themes."

Namorita concedes. "And I guess it's not The Seventh Seal. Still, Stace," she continues, "try not to be too hard on the guy if he's not as enthusiastic as you are. I once went out with a guy who worshiped Fellini. Ugh. Listen, I appreciate Fellini, I do, but I don't feel the need to see The Clowns every month, okay? Every month! That's just not good for anyone."

For the record, I'm not as tough to please. Give me a guy who can appreciate any Jean-Pierre Melville film and I'm happy. Plus plus points if it's Army of Shadows. And I got lucky. Just so happens, mister boyfriend is a film critic.

We wish both Stacy and Trevor luck.

What's your big test? 

I caught The Dark Knight last Sunday despite having planned to see the movie much, much later. I was never a big fan of the Batman - except maybe of his animated incarnation. In my head, the Batman sounds like Kevin Conroy. And the Joker sounds like Mark Hamill. I was optimistic about the movie because Nolan is a good director but I wasn't in a hurry. I figured it'd stay in theatres long enough, so I could still catch it after everyone and their mothers are no longer lining up. However, I had to get out of the house for some errands and found myself at the mall, so I decided to just go already.

Fortunately, I was able to get a good seat. Unfortunately, I was right about everyone and their mothers. And probably their cousins, first and second and thrice removed. Everyone wanted to watch The Dark Knight. There were kids everywhere you looked - which was odd, because from everything we'd seen and heard about the film, it didn't feel like something kids would really enjoy. It was a two-hour and twenty minute tragedy, which, really, is how a Batman story should be. I was worried that by the end of the first hour kids would start getting impatient and start making noise and throwing unholy tantrums that their parents wouldn't be able to get under control. Did I mention, by the way, that I don't like kids? I don't like kids.

Sure enough, just as I was chanting Anyonebutkidsohpleaseohplease in my head, in comes this family - two parents, seven children. Seven. One teenager, three tweens, two very loud young boys playing with their PSPs and one young girl. Count them. Seven. And, would you look at that, they were headed right up to my aisle. Fantastic. Thankfully, the youngest girl ends up sitting next to me, and she doesn't look like the kind who'd make too much noise (it was the two young boys I was really worried about). They all take their seats (after eight and a half years of arguing who gets to sit where and who gets to hold the goddamn popcorn) and the mom turns to the dad and says, "Pero the Joker has been in the movies before, di ba? Didn't he kill Batman's parents?"

Before he could answer, the little girl next to me says, "Only for that movie. The Joker didn't have anything to do with the murder of the Wayne's. Their killer was Joe Chill." Her brothers promptly start mimicking her, calling her a know-it-all.

Have I ever told you how much I love Myrna Loy? Well, I do. I love Myrna Loy. I can spend hours and hours staring at old photographs of her. I'd watch her in absolutely anything. I'd watch her reading the phone book. She's on my desktop right now and it's keeping me from working or doing much of anything else. She's the most enchanting creature in the world and don't let anybody ever tell you different.


Just in case you need proof. Me-ow.

I loved her since the first moment I saw her - which was in the movie Love Crazy, where she starred with William Powell. They happen to be my favorite on-screen couple of all time, which makes the entire Thin Man series of films so much fun to watch. I think, though, that my favorite film she starred in is still Test Pilot. She had me in tears. She starred in that with Clark Gable. They happen to be my second favorite on-screen couple of all time. If they ever made a movie out of my life, I'd like to be played by Myrna Loy. I realize of course that this is not possible without some time-traveling endeavors. And that I'm no Myrna Loy. Really. But hey, a girl can dream! Anyway, it's the movies. Everything is supposed to be bigger.

Who's your favorite old Hollywood movie star?

I saw Annie Hall again today. The MGM Channel (my new best friend) was showing it early in the morning. I have it on DVD already, but I decided to sit through it anyway. It's a good film - arguably Woody Allen's best (Manhattan is really, really good too, though).

I think the film also a has a kind of sentimental value for me, since it was one of the first movies I'd ever seen. I remember thinking, 'Oh, so that's what a relationship is like. It's like a long conversation with someone." And I still think that's true, for the most part - it does feel like one long conversation. That's quite possibly one of my favorite things about being in a relationship (in any close relationship, really, platonic or romantic). It feels almost like your discussions never really end, they're just put on hold. You can just pick right up where you last left off and the other person knows exactly what you're talking about. You have stories and jokes and even terms that only you know. There are times that anyone listening in on your conversation won't be able to make heads or tails of it. And the more time you spend with each other, the more stories and jokes you have, the stranger and stronger your secret language becomes.

Can I just say that Neil Marshall is great? He's great. I'm a fan. Dog Soldiers was fantastic, The Descent was terrifying. And his newest film, Doomsday? Ridiculous. Insane. Too much fun for words. His very own Escape from New York or Mad Max.

So far, each film he's made seems like the work of a man who thinks he'll never be able to make a next one. He throws everything in, but somehow manages to all make it work so very nicely. They're like mix tapes of all the film genre he loves. What does Doomsday have? Oh, dystopian gloom in post-apocalyptic settings, Bob Hoskins, a deadly "Reaper" virus, cannibals who rock out to the Sex Pistols, a shapely and completely hard-bitten heroine, lots of guns, lots of decapitations, car chases, explosions, oh, and Malcolm McDowell. See? Everything but the kitchen sink. This may be the most entertaining movie to be lost on many, many critics this year. Never mind. It's fun for fans of the cult classics or, really, anyone who wants to have a good time at the movies. Neil Marshall made sure of that. He's great.

Someone texted me about director Anthony Minghella's death - I still find it a little strange that whenever a director, a novelist or maybe even actor dies one of the first things people I know do is text me about it - and my first thought was to go see Truly Madly Deeply again. I hadn't seen it in such a long time. He was probably most known for his work on The English Patient (and I don't really want to watch that again), but Truly Madly Deeply is my favorite Minghella film. It's about a woman, Nina, (Julie Stevenson) whose lover, Jamie, (Alan Rickman) dies. Naturally, she is heartbroken, grief-stricken. She stumbles on, barely, unable to accept the loss of her lover and to deal with the rest of life itself. Then he comes back as a ghost. She's thrilled, of course, and they're happy. For a while. Soon there are ghosts in her living room, watching Brief Encounter, and she's pissed off. She grows tired and wonders about the nature of their relationship - whether in life or death. "Was it like this before?" she asks her ghost lover, "Were we like this?"

So while waiting for the elevator, I overheard one woman say to her very young daughter, "O, ayaw mo na? Give it to me na lang. I'll drink your milkshake." (trans. You don't want it anymore? Just give it to me. I'll drink your milkshake.) I shuddered. The elevator came and made that ding! sound that lets you know it's time to come on in, but before I did that I looked around to check if Daniel Day-Lewis wasn't hiding anywhere. He wasn't. I didn't know whether to be disappointed or relieved.

Further proof that the Universe likes me:

For their next collaboration, the writing/directing team of Joel and Ethan Coen and producer Scott Rudin will transfer the bestselling Michael Chabon novel The Yiddish Policemen's Union to film. More details here.

Am I allowed to get super excited about this already?

The film Magnolia was released in 1999. Late one Thursday afternoon, I decided to see it alone. That afternoon, I walked into the theatre an excited P.T. Anderson fan and walked out of it a mad woman. My mind was racing with images of frogs raining down from the sky. My stomach was inside out and I was frantic. I immediately called everyone I could think of and told them to see the movie. I realized that Magnolia was that kind of film. The kind that makes you want to stop everyone you know and everyone you bump into, and I mean everyone, the guy at the deli, the woman at the bank, and tell them to go see it and see it now. The kind of film that makes you scream an ultimatum even (or especially) at your dearest friends: See this movie or never ever speak to me again. Incidentally, I think I lost a lot of friends in 1999.

Last night, I saw There Will Be Blood. Nothing could prepare me for it. Not the reviews, not the millions of times I saw the trailer, not the interviews and articles I've read about Daniel Day-Lewis and P.T. Anderson. Not even the rain of frogs from Magnolia.


It had a lot of things to say about capitalism and sin and the very heart and soul of America. It is, in part, telling us how blood is being traded for oil - but never mind all that. That wasn't what made this movie great, although it certainly doesn't hurt. You can't write a character as a metaphor and you can't tell an actor to play his character like one. For the film to work, for the character to be as real as he can be you have to show his actions in hope to reveal his motivation. Slowly, we'll try to understand why he is doing what he is doing. Slowly, we'll try to see if he can find whatever it is that makes him happy. That brings him peace.

Daniel Plainview, however, is not an easy man to understand or figure out. He says all throughout the film that he believes in plain speaking, but what he does is far from that. He is a deceitful man when he wants to be. He holds his cards so close to him, that maybe even he doesn't know what they are. He talks a little bit about what it is that drives him - how he wants to succeed and how he wants no one else to be able to, how he wants to get away from everyone else. Everyone who isn't family. He doesn't know how big this thing is inside him - but he knows that it is dark. He sees this darkness in other people, too. In fact, he sees nothing but the darkness. The only people he trusts are people with blood ties. To him, these blood ties are unquestionable. They are the only thing that can save him and they are the only thing he will save. Unfortunately, Daniel he loses what little family he thought he had, so we can only watch and be gobsmacked by his steady decline into the dark. He will know no peace.

For a character like that, you can't ask for a better actor than Daniel Day-Lewis. And for a story like this - one that can easily hold its own against other great American movies - you are in good hands with P.T. Anderson. It is that kind of film. The kind that makes me wish I knew seven thousand people so I can all drag them to the nearest movie theatre and watch it. It opens next week in our theatres, February 13. It might not be around for long. Go see it as soon as it opens. Tell your friends to see it or you'll never ever speak to them again.

Anybody seen the latest issue of Empire magazine yet? I want one. Not because Hellboy is on the cover - that just happens to be an added bonus. No, what I'm interested in is something far more urgent. But here, let me show you. That blurb right next to HB, a little bit to the right:


What's that, you ask? Could you have read that right? Why, yes! That's right, boys and girls! 40, count them, 40 Movies That Will Get You Sex. Guaranteed. Not one, not ten, no, not even twenty! Forty, ladies and gentlemen! Forty movies that are guaranteed to put you and that special someone and/or your favorite booty call in the right mood! Good lord, all these years - if only we'd known!

I don't know about you, but I am incredibly (to say the least) curious. What could these movies be? And how and by whose authority have they been guaranteed? Were they put through a serious of rigorous testing and experimentation? Does anybody have any guesses as to what any of these movies might be?

Also, I can't help but wonder. I mean, sex is great and all, but what if it's not enough? What if you're looking for something else? Maybe something more? Are there any Movies That Will Help You Find Love?

Kung Fu Cinema has posted a list  of Top 10 Training Scenes in action movies. What fun! There are plenty of interesting choices - except, personally, I find the choice of the so-called "training sequence" of The Matrix to be questionable. Yes, I know it was choreographed by Yuen Woo-ping. But if you're going to pick something choreographed by Yuen Woo-ping, surely, you could do much, much, much, much better. Other than that, the choices are pretty great. The 36th Chamber of Shaolin makes it high on that list. I certainly can't argue with that.

It's not necessarily one of the best, but one of the most memorable for me is the training sequence in Clan of the White Lotus. Yet another movie with Gordon Liu, this time as Hung Wen-tin, who is out to get his revenge on the priest Pak Mei for - what else - the murder of his elder brother. Pak Mei is able to channel his chi, allowing him to evade blows by riding their force. This makes him pretty much untouchable (literally and figuratively) until Mei-ha, widow of Wen-tin's elder brother, teaches him a special kind of technique. Her "woman style kung-fu" is not forceful - it is gentle and patient. Before Wen-tin can begin his physical training, he must get into a different state of mind. And in order to do that he must learn how to operate like a woman. She has him doing embroidery and taking care of the baby. He stumbles along at first, clumsily mimicking her movements, but eventually gets better. It is a joy to watch Gordon Liu change from an over-eager, clumsy young man into a more calm and composed martial artist. He was almost as graceful as Kara Hui. Almost. Kara Hui, who plays Mei-ha, is lovely and impossibly graceful. I love Kara Hui. I could watch her all day. While training, she tells Wen-tin, "Your punch is premature. You must hold back till you get close." Mm-hmm. Just like a man.

If you're planning to catch a movie this weekend, let it be Eastern Promises. And yes, before you ask, I know that I was predisposed to like this movie - what with my great fondness for David Cronenberg. Videodrome was the only thing that could quiet me down at three in the morning when I was a little girl. But never mind all that. Eastern Promises is a really great movie. Probably the best we've seen in a while. Somehow, it manages to be both a great piece of entertainment and a work of art. It's an engaging study in good, evil and complexities of society, a frightening look into the life of the Russian mob and a showcase of all Viggo Mortensen and David Cronenberg's talents.

And yes, for all those who are interested, Viggo fights naked in the public bath.

o1 Well, shit. It's really happening. You can now get first glimpse at the up and coming Watchmen movie at the WB site. I share the apprehension of many, many people out there - not because I'm a purist or anything. I understand that a movie and the book or comic it is usually based on are two different kinds of medium. Some things just can't translate. It's just that I don't trust that Snyder fellow - not after the horrendous, glossy and completely empty rendition of 300. Plus the casting, by and large, is just unnerving. Alan Moore has a certain reputation about being crusty about these things, but hey - it's not like he hasn't been given good reason. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed though and hope it'll all turn out okay.

o2 The promotional trailer for Jet Li and Jackie Chan's The Forbidden Kingdom is finally out! It's looking all right, so far. It all looks...very family friendly, but then again what should we expect from a movie that's directed by the guy who did Stuart Little. Jackie Chan has already warned his more regular fans that they shouldn't expect much just yet. It's really more targeted to a foreign (read: Hollywood) audience, so I guess the full on Jet Li-Jackie Chan throw down you and I have been waiting for will just have to be put on hold again. Sigh. Maybe after this they can do a movie in Hong Kong! On the upside, it's just good to see Jet Li and Jackie Chan in a movie. That, and The Forbidden Kingdom was choreographed by Yuen Woo-Ping who, in my mind, is a god or a demi-god or some other high otherworldly creature.

o3 So the most beautiful woman in the world, Gong Li, has signed up for another American film and she just might be starring with John Cusack. They're still in negotiations with him, though (and here is where I cross my fingers and toes). The film is entitled Shanghai and Comingsoon.net says the film is about "an American who returns to a corrupt, Japanese-occupied Shanghai four months before Pearl Harbor and discovers his friend has been killed. While he unravels the mysteries of the death, he falls in love and discovers a much larger secret that his own government is hiding." We're told that it's going to be directed by Derailed and 1408 director Mikael Håfström, but that might not even matter to me anymore. Gong Li + John Cusack = my little heart exploding.

o4 There Will Be Blood is a Western starring terrifying Daniel Day-Lewis and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. It will be crazy.

o5 No Country for Old Men is the long-awaited return of the Coen Brothers. I want to see it now.

o6 Or I can just go to sleep now and wake up in May 2008 so I can see Hellboy II: The Golden Army.



What movies are you looking forward to?